Last Friday night four hobos got together for a night of revelry
at HoBo Johns new luxury apartment. At some point in the night we saw a
film called
Switchblade sisters. A film so bad we simply had to review it for you.
By the looks of it this film was made sometime in the late 60's by American people with no money ideas or friends. The plot centres around a gang of feisty ladies called the Jezebels and their male counterparts the Silver Daggers. Its hard to say which gang is the less intimidating. We are given a taste of just how relentless the Jezebels are in the very first scene when they attack a man in a lift, cutting his shirt in to a nice shape with their switchblades. The Silver Daggers show thier metal by wearing leather and sporting firm hair.
Early in the movie the Daggers and the Jezebels go to a diner where they intimidate all the customers in to leaving by acting tough. The customers all leave except for one. A really attractive woman whose name escapes me but is played by someone called Joanne Nail. This really attractive woman pulls out a whip and lashes one of the gang, rendering them pissed off. However they donšt cut her a new shirt like the guy in the lift, they become pals with her. Possibly becauase she is so attractive and sexually appealing. The leader of the Silver Daggers follows attractive woman home and rapes her in her own apartment, she subsequently joins the Jezebels as they offer a very good rape counselling service, probably. Anyway they all end up in jail for a bit and attractive woman gets her head stuffed down the bog and narrowly escapes a fisting from some big lezza.
The leader of the Jezebels looks like a 17 year old schoolgirl, which in fact she proves to be when they all show up for school. Unfortunately for her she appears to have had her teeth superglued together and thus speak through clenced teeth for the entire movie.Her balance of power is threatened by attraciive woman who by now has become dangerously attractive as I consistently point out to the other three HoBos.
Superglue teeth becomes convinced that attractive woman is
getting it on with her boyfriend, the leader of the Silver Daggers. So she plots
something
which Išm hoping one of the other HoBošs will remember. I think superglue
teeth kills her own boyfriend because she fancies the leader of some other lame
gang. I can't really remeber because by that point we were so drunk it was hard
to tell what was happening.
Anyway in the end, after the plot gets really thin, attractive woman kills superglue teeth and they all get arrested and carted away. Attractive woman becomes so fit she starts to glow. As she is carted away she is yelling maniacally about the Jezebels and how hard they are.
HoBo Says , "I donšt think this film is based on a true story".