At HoBo towers we go to about 2 gigs a week and see a whole load of other exciting things. To review all these things properly would take an army of 10,007 genetically engineered HoBo monkeys & since we've only got 5 you'll have to make do with the brand new HoBo Teenie Tiny Reviews!
The things here are reviewed on a 1 to 10 scale. An average (but not bad) score would therefore be 5. Got that. Good.
HoBo John throws everything into disorder by writing a Teenie Tiny Review, but without a score. But I know how to live on the edge so in it goes...
Cockney As It Is Spoke
Place discovered :Croft (Leicestershire village) boot sale
Price: 20p
Year: 1968
Label: SAGA Records
Overview: Cockney As It Is Spoke is a record so shite it is almost essential. Spoken and sung by Annie Windsor and David Rayner it is a compendium of cockerney wit and humor. The LP contains eight songs, Knocked 'em Dead In The Old Kent Road (literally?), Lambeth Walk, Show Me Your Yo Yo Tonight (Literally?) and is interspersed with commentary from some upper crust fellow who talks about cockneys like they're some kind of disease and says things like "In any market stall in the East End, you will hear the sound of the cockerney, take a listen to their jolly banter" and "The sound of the cockney, it's every where. warm witty, never pause for a second, never use one word when half a word will do".
Nine Inch Nails:- All That Could Have Been
Nice box, amazing songs. Thats all there is too know. Oh, and it's a live double album.
Overall; 8/10
The Smashing Pumpkins 1991-2001 DVD
If the disc was just 20 Smashing Pumpkins videos that would be enough for me, but this DVD also has a commentary track where the band and people who made the videos talk about them. So it's both entertaining and informative, much like hardcore porn. You also get to marvel at how bad Billy Corgan's hair was before he went all Nosferatu, never has anyone needed to shave their head as much as that bloke.
Overall; 9/10
Muse; Hyper Music/ Feeling Good
A single so bad that it made me want to crawl inside a small sound proof box & then pull my own ears off, just to make sure I never hear it again.
Overall; 0/10
Planet of the Apes
Who would have thought it was possible to make a bad film about talking monkeys. But amazingly Tim Burton (who is one of my favorite directors) has managed it. The acting is fine, with Tim Roth oozing eeeeeeeeeeeeevil, the sets and effects are stunning, but the plot is so bad it is quite remarkable. They have thrown away almost every element of the original, and replaced it with a vile mess. It is so unlike the original that I think it should have has a different name, 'A Planet With Some Very Well Made Up People Pretending To Be Apes' perhaps. For the last half hour of the film I was wishing they would hurry up and finish, which is never a good sign.
Overall: 1/10 (with 2 points removed for the crap beyond crap comedy ending, the people responisble should be hurt. Quite badly.)
Echoboy
Northampton SoundHaus
Echoboy famously turned down a job with OASIS last year, and I don't mean the high street store. The reason? He wanted to concentrate on his own band. Any careers advisor would have advised him to join ranks with the monobrow brigade. However he didn't and tonight we can almost see why. But not quite.
Overall: 4/10
Lupine Howl
Northampton SoundHaus
Lupine Howl are the boys who got booted out of Spiritualized and carried on regardless without their ringmaster Jason Pierce.
Siritualized - Backing band = Lupine Howl = Spiritualized - Jason Pierce =Nightmare!
Overall: 2/10
Antiproduct Gig Review
Rock City, 21 April 2001
Antiproduct appear to be some sort of super-side-project containing members of Rachel Stamp and Clam Abuse (who in turn are some sort of Ginger Wildheart side-project). They played heavy glam rock and I rather enjoyed it. The crowd were engaged well and various band members made trips along the top of the bar, which was like being in that rubbish video for that rubbish song from the rubbish film Coyote Ugly.
Overall: 6/10, with a point deducted for over use of the phrase 'rock & roll' but a bonus point for good use of ultra violet make up.
HoBo says; Bungie Jumping People Die
Buy Antiproduct from Amazon.co.uk
Buy
Antiproduct from Amazon.com
Cradle Of Filth Gig Review
Rock City, 14 April 2001
My Granny is more offensive on Chirstmas day when she gets on the port. Music is rubbish too, all a bit pointless really.
Overall: 2/10
Less Than Jake Gig Review
Rock City, 7 April 2001
Less Than Jake Look just like the kids that got bullied at your school. The gig was quite enjoyable once you got over the fact that every sca-punk song sounds exactly the same. Suppose it's a good job I like that one song.
Look it's a Less Than Jake Poster signed by the whole band and it's mine, all mine. You can see a bigger version by clicking on it.
Overall: 6/10